Nooks and Crannies

Life Since the Last Post

2007-11-06T18:55:00.000-08:00

Well, it has been so long since I even looked at this blog, I'm sure I no longer have anyone interested in looking at it to see if there is anything new here. But for my own mental stability, as I sit here half falling asleep, and bored out of my mind, I thought I would update on everything.

The foremost thing is my Sophomore year in college has begun, and still I cannot believe it! There has been nearly no timeto write, and my poor Nanowrimo novel is suffering so that my schoolwork does not. A new idea for a story popped up four days into Nano, and I threw away three thousand words of unenthused tale to write eight hundred words of beloved story. I lost word count in the long run, but I gained back a sense of why I love writing.And as far as I am concerned, that is the more important thing.

I decided to write a fairy tale, and it is actually the first nano that i think I may one day try to publish. but I don't know, publishing is so far away. But it would be so nice! Anyway, i'm only rambling and this is probably not even post worthy, but at this point I'm too tired to really worry about it. So I will bid you, my poor, bored reader, a loving and most appreciative adieu! And God bless you!!!!!!!

Song lyrics

2006-03-11T18:21:00.000-08:00

there are certain song lyrics that simply grab you, right away, aren't there??

These are from Wicked.....I know it's when she is turning wicked, and I don't like it because of that, but seriously ..... aren't there times when you just FEEL like this? when you want to leap, fly, DEFY GRAVITY???? Actually, it's more likeall the time...you always want to try your wings, always want to become th e best possible person you could ever wish to be. Even if you shoot for the moon and miss, you land among the stars. even if you can't reach the best, you can still be amazing, and put in a spectacular effort. I think i'll try defying gravity.....

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

I'm through accepting limits
'Cuz someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!

So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who'd ground me
Take a message back from me

Tell them how I am
Defying gravity
I'm flying high
Defying gravity

no, this isn't the way the song actually goes...these are just my favorite lyrics. It just makes me want to fly...i love this song!!!! *grin*

Respect

2006-02-25T14:16:00.000-08:00

I was walking through Grey's...Err, excuse me, *coughs* Elderton Country Market today. *rolls eyes* (They had to go and change the name of the store, just to confuse me. It was a rotten vicious plot. ANYWAYS) I'm walking through the store today with my Dad. We had just gotten back from my first driving lesson. (BOOOOORIIIIING *grin) From behind me, I heard a deep voice saying, "Excuse me" I turned. I was confronted by a pretty big guy, wearing a black t-shirt. The front said "Elderton Wrestling"...Not very impressive. But it was the back that caught my attention. As he walked away, I glanced after him. Bold white lettering across the back of his shirt said. "Respect isn't given, it is EARNED." It made me think. Yep, right there in the produce aisle, between the apples and the tomato sauce.

Respect isn't given. It is EARNED. It's something you acquire, over time. Not only that, but you only get as much respect AS YOU DESIRE. If you don't behave in a respectable, admirable manner, you will not receive respect from others. It's really fascinating to think about.

I know families where the children do not seem to respect their parents worth a lick. I used to wonder about this, until I realized that the parents do not inspire respect in their children. They allow them to gain another half inch, again and again, until finally the children realize that mom and dad aren't going to try and stop them, so they go the whole hundred miles. It's amazing. Not only that, but if you notice....Many families when the children do not respect the parents have parents that DO NOT RESPECT OTHERS. It's crazy!

Respect I such a beautiful feeling. When you see someone who has achieved something great, you feel respect. When you see someone especially, who has achieved something that in the world' eyes is very small, or even repulsive...Don't you feel a thrill of respect, admiration, even love, for them? And weh n someone does something that shows they respect you....WOW. There isn't anything more beautiful, more gratifying. Respect of your opinions, of your dreams....those are two things needed and wanted more then anything in the world, and when you receive them.....WOW.

And when you don't receive respect...doesn't it make you wonder why? Did you conduct yourself in a way less then worthy of respect? was the person just speaking to you raised in a way that taught them to be disrespectful?Why can't they seem to respect you as you feel you should, and need to be respected? The ways you can effect someone in that area! by the way you dress talk move act.....Everything can aid it...

Respect is so important. It's something you need to live breathe, act, believe....Respect is so importnat. Because by respecting someone, you are showing that you believe in Christ's presence in you. And when someone repects you, they are acknowledging the God of all hidden deep within your soul.

This was so jumbled...... :)

The Shadow Proves The Sunshine

2006-01-14T15:49:00.000-08:00

I was sitting in the back seat of a car, listening absent mindedly to a Switchfoot song. i don't think I was thinking about anything....

The words of the song sank in.

The Shadow Proves The Sunshine..
The Shadow Proves The Sunshine..

What an amazing, so true thought. My jaw just dropped. So many times in life, when we are in trouble, we only see the shadow. But if the shadow proves the sunshine, that must mean that the sun is nearby. Shadow does not exist unless there is some light, however dim, to make it visible to our sight. Without light there is no shadow. No matter what, the light is somehow near. It makes one thing so clear:

When we are in trouble, of any kind, there is somewhere a light...somewhere, we can find the sun. It's nearby, it's there. There is a way out. The light allows the shadow for the moment, but sooner or later, it will dispell the darkness and shine through with all the beauty it contains. It's God's mercy, God's love, hiding for a few brief minutes so that we can realize how dependant we are upon Him. He lets his light overshadow us, and either we are too blinded by the brilliance to see, or He allows the light to fall just before us, so that we are still standing in shadow. But He will never leave us in that darkness. Suddenly, when we least expect it, His brilliance will shine through, and our hearts will just well up with love for Him. We'll see that He was always there, but letting us make our own mistakes, letting us stay in the shadows, until He was ready to shed us with His glory. It is simply amazing. God is so good, so amazing, and it is amazing how silly we humans are. How foolish. Will we ever realize that God is not ignoring, but aiding us, letting us use our free wills, letting us try to make our way, just to show us that we need Him. The Shadow Proves the Sunshine. The darkness of life shows the existence of God's light if we would only open our eyes to see it.

None of this came out the way I hoped it would. I hope somehow, those who read this will understand what I am trying to say by it.

2005-12-30T09:36:00.000-08:00

Okay so what do you do when, no matter how much you try, you keep feeling beaten down? Then what? what's the next step? I mean seriously, there is only so much you can do before you want to snap. Before you do snap. I feel like a part of "Behind these hazel eyes", by Kelly Clarkson.

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside,
But you won't get to see the tears I cried,
Behind these hazel eyes.

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
Sewed together
But so broken up inside

I'm tired of fighting, tired of pretending. I just feel trapped. I'm ready to fly. I'm going crazy. There's no way out.

2005-10-31T12:41:00.000-08:00

There are a few things in life that are positively worth dying for. And worth living for.

That awesome feeling of complete, total, relaxed, and undisturbed peace that washes over you on a Saturday morning, when you know you can sleep in and no one is going to bother you. Sunlight streams through your window with that light hearted, happy look before you decide to fall out of bed and grace the world with your awakened presence.

Another is the heated feeling that thrills up from the depths of your soul and completely absorbs you when you've stood up for something you've believed in and won. Not necessarily over the person or thing that confronted you, but over yourself, because you've gotten up the courage to do what you wanted to do, and didn't cower in the mouse-like way you've been known to at times. You've conquered, you're victorious, you've won.

Another is the silly, giddy, oh so fun feeling of just being happy to be alive, and young, and just....alive. lol, I love being a teen! It's awesome!! i love the way i can switch back and forth from being grown up and mature around little kids, to being silly and childish around older people. :) I mean, I hate being taken as a little kid by adults, that's not what i mean. I mean...just acting childish now and then, around people my age....like yesterday, sliding down this silly, pitch black side with my brother, while my dad watched us, amusement and disturbance written all over his face. lol! But then turning right around and being the responsible sibling who hangs on to kids so they don't tumble into the giraffe pen at the zoo. I don't know how to explain it. This whole blog entry is stupid and senseless. I dunno...I'm just silly, and dumb, and crazy, and alive, and happy!! And i had to vent it somewhere, and this seemed as good a place as any. This world is so cool, sometimes!!!!!! :)

Wierd that all these emotions jumbled together into a Monday, isn't it?? that's normally the day people hate.....

2005-10-28T11:44:00.000-07:00

Okay, so exactly what are dentists good for, anyway?
I mean seriously, do they really fix your teeth? i think dentists are a low form of humanity who got together in a rat filled, damp, mildewed dungeon in days of old and plotted on how to inflict more pain into the mouths of all humanity. Wierd cackles drifted up into the air from underneath the ground, where thousands of evil men plotted to destroy the peace and painlessness of a billion innocent mouths. Passers by heard the wierd cackles, and suddenly felt an ache in their jaw unbeknown before. There is something WRONG with men who sit there and talk and joke with you, while they are drilling your teeth and hacking away at little pieces of metal that they shove unceremoniously into your mouth, to be trapped there FOREVER. they take sheer joy in giving you pain, and invent what they call cavities that they say are filling your mouth, trying to scare you into letting them inflict a little more pain upon your pearly whites. They say they're going to 'numb' your gum, and proceed to stab your mouth with some pointy spear that they found who knows where, that probably injects some type of poison that you will die from years later. Then you suddenly realize, with a terrified shiver, that that spear DIDN'T numb your mouth, as they begin to drill away.....

Dentists are evil. that is all there is to it.

Unanswered Question.....

2005-06-09T11:51:00.000-07:00

Five-year-old eyes glow with fever and tears
Wash cloth cools hot little cheeks
The party is cancelled, all friends sent home
"Why, God?" she sadly speaks.

His grades just came back from another test
He's failed; third times the charm
Teen-aged head drops onto the desk.
"Why, God?" is muffled by his arm.

She runs to her room and slams the door
Dumped after dating three years.
Broken sobs seep through her pillow
"Why, God?" she asks through her tears.

The couple stand by a tiny grave
A leaf skitters across the headstone
They stare at their day-old baby's grave.
"Why, God?" the wind seems to moan.

In a nursing home; he can't walk anymore
Wheelchairs, and doctors, and pain
The aches in his joints tear through each limb
"Why, God?" he softly complains.

The unanswered question, spoken by all
Child, boy, girl, parents, man.
Softly God's voice breaks through the darkness:
"So unfolds My Eternal Plan."

Darn it....

2005-05-28T14:10:00.000-07:00

You know, I do the dumbest things. Okay, I was at my little sister's swim lesson at the Y. There was a new lifeguard: a young, conscientuous looking guy with dark hair and a sort of furtive personality. But wait, let me explain something:
To be absolutely truthful, I get bored senseless when I watch my siblings swimming lessons. I watch them merely because the lifeguards as a rule crack me up. One, fondly known in my family by the nickname 'Crush', aka the turtle from 'Finding Nemo', because of the way he talks, (The nickname was my brilliant idea: I now live in terror that the younger kids will accidentally call him that to his face. Anyway.....) is especially funny, and seeing how his voice booms throughout the entire poolroom, you can't miss a joke he cracks. It's hysterical.
But this particular day, Crush had been, for the moment, forgotten. I had turned away from his class, and turned to the newer lifeguard's. (Crush has two of my siblings, the new lifeguard had one, in their classes) It was pretty dull, as those kids were younger and did less, and I soon became lost in my own silly daydreams. Deep, penetrating thought. Naturally, as my thoughts became deeper, I began to knit my eyebrows and my lips were pursed. To put it bluntly: I was glaring.
At this inopportune moment, the new lifeguard decided to teach my sister to float on her back. For half a moment, he let go of her....and instantly she sunk. Terrified, he grabbed her, held her up as she spluttered water out of her mouth and nose: his dark eyes darted towards me with a fearing expression......
And I was glaring at him. Poor guy, I'll never forget his face when I refocused. I hadn't realized I was looking straight at him...he blushed deep red, I am certain he thought I was going to get him fired for carelessness in his duties. I instantly tried to smile to make him feel better, but by that time he'd turned away.
The poor guy hasn't made eye contact with me to this very day.

Fingerprints

2005-05-27T06:17:00.000-07:00

One of the most disturbing things in the world has to be these words. "You have to be fingerprinted."

Imagine you're me: sweet, innocent, happy go lucky little me, getting a job this summer that you are absolutely ecstatic about, and you cannot wait to begin.
Then, suddenly, from the place where you are a brand new employee, you get a short letter with these words, "Anyone working with children we ask to take this safety precaution, blab, blab, blab."
Suddenly, you find yourself plopped into a formal looking office, looking around at all this odd looking stuff, being passed by criminals.....and a state trooper has you by the arm and tells you to relax your hand so you don't smudge the ink. Everything's a blur...you start wondering how something as simple as getting a job at a summer camp can be this confusing...even disturbing.
With a sigh of relief, you shake yourself. The trooper is a family friend, and he's not glaring at you, merely at the ornery ink. There is an officer glaring your little sister out of countenance, and saying that she looks dangerous, but the sparkle in his eyes shows he's kidding. Your mom and the troopers are talking and laughing, and the fingerprinting is over. He pushes you towards a little bowl and says to put your inky fingers in there to get rid of the black mess.
You glance into the bowl with a happy nod, glad it's over....then pause. It's filled with a yellowish-orange goo, and there's a fuzzy, grayish cloud floating in the middle. you pause. "Ummm.....Mr. _______, i don't think I want to risk it." you call over your shoulder, half laughing, half sincere. He comes back in with a few paper towels, and grins. "Now look, if you can muck stalls you can at least do this." he replies. The officer glaring at your sister turns. "That's right, it's just like mucking stalls." he encourages.
With a sigh and another hesitation, you give in. What a yicky sensation. But it's soon over, you hand the inky paper towels back to your family's friend, and before you know it, you're back out in the sunny parkinglot, headed for the car. Your sister is still giggling nervously over the glaring officer, but you're feeling fun and fancy free. That had to be one of the wierdest experienc

Ummmm.....

2005-05-23T11:41:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been waiting for several days to find something to post. And nothing came. Fancy that! Deep, profound thinker that I am, I can't think of single sensible, (or not so) thing to say. Wow. Impressive. I think we should all give me a round of appluase. For once in my life, I have been actually speechless. I deserve some type of award. Yep.
You know, at any other time, I'm always wanting to get my two cents in. I want everyone else to hush for a second so I can hear myself think, or at least to let me get a word in edgewise. then, when there is absolutely no one to stop me, and nothing to prevent my babblings....I can't think of anything to say! Does that defeat the purpose or what? *sigh* Oh, boy....Guess it's human nature. Never satisfied. :)

And in dreams, we will meet again.....

2005-05-17T13:23:00.000-07:00

I was sitting in my room today, playing the Fellowship of the Ring soundtrack softly, mechanically skipping around to all my favorite tracks. I ended up at my favorite, “The Breaking of the Fellowship.” You know, it’s funny how, the older you get, the more meaning that track can hold for you. At fifteen, I thought nothing of it. Pretty, sad, yes, but not particularly meaningful. It’s when you start to really hit that age, that age known as adulthood, that you really start to think about it. It all comes home, when a beloved sister leaves you for college. That’s bad enough…..until you realize that she will soon be in Europe, where visits and phone calls are not just lessened, but completely cut off. The music continues, diving in and over and through all your thoughts….it’s funny, how each strain coming from the c.d. player can suddenly relate to your life. I could see the different times the Fellowship had been broken in my life. Not destroyed: Some things will never die, no matter how many years creep by. But they’ve been chipped, cracked, shredded at times. It’s funny, the emotions the music reveals. The greatest is that of sorrow. A knowledge that life will go on, change is inevitable. But there are other feelings too……one of triumph. It won’t always be broken, because someday a life, different naturally, but just as fulfilling as the one you are living now, will fall into place. The few years of strangeness will be taken over by the peace of a life all your own. But there’s another too: The belief in everlasting friendship. Something that, no matter what, will support and protect you over the years; fight, and even die for you. Even if it’s far away…..or if it’s so close you feel it’s presence every single day. It doesn’t really matter. It’s going to be there for you forever. It's that encouragement that helps you face the loneliness of seperation....you know that even though you're still wandering around, blindly searching for the missing piece.....that piece that can't come back.The piece the merciless hand of time is always dragging away......you know, at that beautiful crash of music at the end of the track, that even though it won't be the same, and it's scary and sad, that you'll live through it. Life is beautiful, full of promise. Living each day as it comes, and not worrying about tomorrow until it comes.....and always holding onto hope, courage, friendship, and love. It's incredible, really incredible, just to be....alive.

The lovers, the dreamers, and a frog.

2005-05-12T12:12:00.000-07:00

So. You're sitting on your couch, watching a movie. To be exact, The Muppet Movie. Thoroughly enjoying it, and then the inevitable happens. You become inspired.

How?

by a little frog, sitting on a log in the middle of a swamp, playing a banjo. Does this strike you as odd? Being a firm lover of the Muppets, no. But it isn't the scene that is making you think, it's the words floating softly from out the swamp and into your living room.

"Why are there so many songs about rainbows,
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide.

So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see
Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me."

The song ends, but it makes an impact. The feeling that Kermit had just been voicing all your hopes and fears for the future persists, making you somehow excited, and ridiculously giddy.

Then, the movie comes towards it's end, and once more, you see the simple little frog. But now, he is surrounded by a studio, sitting in a director's chair, and looking about in awe as his dreams explode before him into a wonderful rainbow of fulfilled hopes. Once more, his words hit you.

"It starts when we're kids. I show off at school. Making faces at friends. you're a clown and a fool! .......... ignoring you're homework it's that dedication, you look in the mirror: You're getting standing ovations!"

You feel silly, getting so excited and realizing that, wow, a frog has the same dreams as you! And he succeeded in making those dreams come true! He beat the odds! And you think, what a brilliant idea, I need to share it with everyone! so you go to your blog, and begin to type....erase it.....retype it...erase it....and type it again. You want to share it. Share the feeling that nothing is impossible, that you can be anything, so long as you hope and pray and try your darndest. "But what a stupid way to present it!" you protest. "A frog inspired you??"

"But...."

"They'll all laugh at you, stupid!"

"Maybe so," stubbornly. "But this was too cool to keep all to myself."

So you march through your task. No longer feeling silly, sideways, backwards, or ridiculous. you feel free, light, easy. You can be anything, accomplish anything. And so can everyone else. Faith hope, and a li'le bi' o' luck. Add this to lots o' prayer, and you've got the world by the collar. What promise the future holds! Isn't it beautiful to be alive??

Enter Me

2005-05-11T08:25:00.000-07:00

Why did I create this little corner?

Well, to put it in the words of a beloved character from a favorite old Western: "Well, everybody else was doing it. I have the right to join in the fun....according to the fourteenth amendment." And so it remains. :)

I've made this purely for the fun of it. What shall end up here, I have no clue. Expect the unexpected. It won't be totally original, since there isn't any such thing. Be ready for all, and for nothing. In short, be prepared for me. This is going to be completely and totally a world of my own: you may take that as a warning or a welcome, whichever you prefer. All who enter my little domain, warmest of welcomes!!